As mothers, we will never be good enough. Historically, and I know this from my mother and grandmother, they too felt inadequate. In their time, the expectation was that they have a clean house, good food on the table and well behaved children. The way they achieved this was through time spent cleaning, cooking, sending the kids outside, yelling and discipline, and a spank now and then. They now wish that things would have been left and they would have spent more time with their children.
If I am to believe what all of the blog posts are saying, the expectation today is that it’s all about the kids even to the extent that we should have dirty houses, quick meals, constant playing, and absolutely no yelling. Cherish every moment, and allow them to express their individuality. Not all, but the pattern of children now is a large group of entitled and disrespectful children that our elderly population just doesn’t get.
What are we to do? Well as for me, I am just going to do the very best that I can. I am a firm believer in all things in ration. Every day there are things I wish I did differently or better. Every night I accept my imperfections and forgive myself, starting tomorrow anew. What I know about myself and my raising of my children is this: If my child doesn’t listen, I might yell. If they misbehave, are disrespectful or rude, there will be consequences. They will know right from wrong, and know that God exists, watching our every action-but that there is great forgiveness. They will learn to play on their own, outside and in-this may include tv or a video game now and then-all things in ration. They will learn please and thank you and to send a card in the mail when words just aren’t enough. They will have a clean house and a good meal and it may take me all day sometimes. I will work and will sometimes text and be on the computer-there are others things important too, even if not as much. Through this, when they are older, they will realize how important it is to work hard, and also that they need to call each other and their friends once in a while to say hello. In high school, they won’t have large holes in their ears or tattoos on their arms, and their pants will cover their underwear-they can show their independence elsewhere. They will know they are loved, they are important, and that they are amazing souls that I am so blessed to be a part of their lives. They will know what it feels like to dance in the kitchen, and run around on hands and knees playing horses with me. They will know that my Barbie likes to flip her hair, and that my truck runs into a lot of things. They will know they can tell me anything and that I will help them, without judgment-but hopefully with advice. I will hug them every night and every day. I will drop everything to come to their rescue when they are hurt or need me. I will kiss them when they will let me and through my relationship with their dad, I will show them what love and friendship looks like. They will laugh and will know the meaning of family and that it is the most important thing above all else.
I will know, in the future, when I am doubting my decisions and full of “I wishes” that in the moment, I just did the very best that I could, and hopefully, when I pick up the phone to call them, on the other end will be a well-rounded, confident independent child that loves me (even a fraction) as much as they know I love them.
Originally Posted at: http://becauseiamamom.wordpress.com/2013/12/16/in-pursuit-of-motherhood-perfection/