Okay all you Mommas out there..or you lucky Stay at home daddy’s, grab a glass of wine or a bottle of Dr. Pepper..whatever it is that makes you relax and feel like a real adult and get ready. Anytime I write/say the word cheers…take a drink. Hopefully by the end you feel just a little better and more relaxed so here we go.
Wait..you are at work? That’s okay…I’ll wait. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!
–To all the poop. The poop in the diapers, the poop on the floor, the poop in the potty (Yeah!!!) that you then have to still wipe the poopy butt, and the poop near the toilet because they almost made it (I’m so proud of you) to the even the dog poop you step in because we love those furry critters too. Oh and the pre-poop. If you have a little boy you know, the air that passes before the poop (and after the poop and during the poop) and the laughter that ensues and the smell that follows. I don’t even have time to talk about pee or all of the talk about poop. Cheers…..
–To no sleep. I mean who needs that afterall. What I want most in the world is to be woken up three times a night because of scary puppies, sore legs, itchy ears, dry throats, sweaty heads, and stolen blankets. Really…(Okay I do love them, I know these moments will pass but for the love of it all I just need a good nights sleep). And when it’s time to go to bed, what I really want to do is get water because that H2O doesn’t fetch itself. and that wanted doll..conveniently its always the one playing hide and go seek at bed time. And the questions..ugh the questions. They hate me….they really do. Cheers….
-To laughing. At their cute little stinking parasite faces. To the funny things they say and the joy that they really do bring. To the puddle jumping and the kitchen dancing. To the fact that by their actual birth existence I actually have to watch the amount of laughter that ensues or make sure I use the bathroom 2194 times a day. But they are funny. Really, really funny. I mean the knock knock jokes alone that make absolutely no sense but that they laugh and are so proud of is just about enough for me to call my entire life and parenting a success. To laughing…poop covered so tired laughing. Cheers…..
-To the Working Mommas. Whether you drop your kiddos off and head out to work, or work from home as a mom or with another job…that’s super multitasking ladies. No matter which option you choose they are all hard. You are Incredible. In case you don’t hear it enough. Go you! So Proud! To the juggling kids and jobs, deadlines and playdates, practices and meetings. Hip Hip Hooray! Cheers.
–To no means no. But actually it doesn’t. Apparently it means “mom please” or “in a minute”. Maybe it even means yes and we don’t even know it. I’m not even sure what it means any more, but I think it means something between “Yes” and “You’re saying there is a chance. Cheers….
–To not being the yelling mom. Nobody wants to be the mom that yells at their kids. We all want to have a happy holistic approach to life. We want them to grow up mentally sane and equal. No therapy needed for my kid kind of life, but lets be honest. There is only so many times you can say “please pick that up” before the voice eventually escalates to a level they actually hear. Often times for me, it when I am laying on the floor after I have tripped over something. I’ll try again next time not to be the yelling mom. I’m sure they will hear me when I speak to them. Or if I just take the time to put my hands on their cheeks so they can look me in the eye as they are cartwheeling past me at mock 2. That’s when I will catch them. Next time….I own this. Cheers…
Refill your glass….Not you?!? hmmm…maybe a Cheers for being awesome then…now refill your glass.
–To your bad ass dance skills. You know you got ’em. Or at least those tiny side kicks think you do. Isn’t it the best ever when you are dancing and you see them doing what you do. Then you laugh in your head and sometimes out-loud because you don’t have the heart to tell them to stop practicing that because it will never…ever….be acceptable in public. nah….bust a move baby! Cheers
–To Story Time. We all know it’s good for our kids and we do it. That alone deserves a great big huge pat on the back. Because if I am being honest, would I rather be reading llama llama or the newest Lisa Gardner I would be lying if I said it wasn’t Llama Llama with those cute faces..actually now I am lying it’s absolutely Lisa Gardner. But I do it. Because one day I want those big growing minds to grow up and read Lisa Gardner and then we can talk about it because I know in the future they are going to want to talk to me every single day about the books we read the night before. Bammm…. Cheers.
–To not swearing. We are raising tiny humans and trying to teach them to become respectable adults. But let’s be honest. We all swear inside our teeny tiny heads every day and let them roll around in there for good measure. If you don’t..I need a dollop of your patience….Cheers.
-To Books and Netflix. The tiny escape that keeps your mind thinking. Thank you text-to-speech on my kindle so I can move with my book from reading to listening in my car. If only Netflix would default to my profile and remove that one extra click from the kids profile…is that too much to ask? Cheers..
–To Politics. I don’t have time to even begin. You can’t fix stupid…and you know right now each side equally thinks the other side is stupid. Agree to disagree and go about being a good human. Cheers…Cheers….Cheers. (need to refill after that..I know we all feel it)
In fact now might be a good time to just grab a straw and the bottle.
–To personal space…Or no personal space actually. To tiny minions in our back pockets. To knowing there is not a single solitary space in your entire house that is just yours. You can maybe slip in a closet or the bathroom for a moment, but you realize what a dream it is when you place your hand on the bathroom counter right into the middle of a big blob of kid toothpaste (Or your makeup that they were “trying” on without your permission). They know the contents of your purse, your bedside drawers, your closets….They are like teeny tiny little spys. You have no personal space. Just get used to it. Cheers….
–To Amazon. I am all for the support of shop local, but if I can choose not drag the kids out to the store I’m all for the that. Plus if I can purchase now rather than trying to remember to write it on the store list that I may or may not leave on the kitchen counter when I actually go to the store that’s another one. Also I remember years ago discussion about the lack of mail being sent because of the introduction to email so the USPS was about to go out of business.. Amazon pretty much saved them. My sister works for the USPS so I feel I am supporting her. Using that as an excuse. Cheers..
–To the joy. The pure and utter joy that the tiny humans bring. The deliriously happy joy. The heart full of gratitude that they are yours. The overwhelming pride in every teeny tiny body fiber that calls out…Thank you. Cheers to the little people!
–To good friends. The friends and sisters that have already heard this and agree. To friends who don’t judge. To friends who come over when your in your pajamas and you don’t even feel under dressed. Cheers…. Double Cheers….Cheers... to the friends who don’t have kids or have older kids and still let you come over with yours. Who play with them and love them because they love you. Thanks for those friends. Cheers… Now buy them a bottle or a six pack and take it over and drink it with them.
-To the partners. The awesome amazing partner who work their butts off to provide for the family. To the true partners who know just how hard you work too and they lighten the load. They go to the store, they help clean the house, and they pour you that much needed glass of wine. Finish that bottle for them…Cheers!!
I bet you are feeling a little more relaxed about right now aren’t you. Really we are all in this together. Nobody is perfect. “Aint nobody got time for that.”
Feel free to open another…you deserve it!